The Book of Revenge
by Oryo
Summary: Rurouni Kenshin/Discworld Crossover. In the middle of a fight, Kenshin gets lost in the dirtiest and weirdest city of the multiverse. (Chapter 1 - completely revised) You would make me happy if you would review this story.


Hi,

I needed a little distraction from my other rather dark fiction. I have uploaded the first chapter of this fiction once again, because I've realised that I've forgotten some things. So please read it again when you have read it already.

This story connects two of my beloved lectures: Rurouni Kenshin and the Discworld Novels. 

I had this idea because in the anime the effects of Kenshin's final attack are symbolised by coloured lights. Imagine how many things can happen when time and space collapse in this form!!

This is a very alternate universe and humour. THINK TWISTED!

I rated this PG-13 for the use of innuendo. Innuendo is regular in Discworld Novels.

I hope that there exist some RK fans who know the Discworld Novels either. 

I hope also that there exist some Discworld fans who like Rurouni Kenshin. 

Read, and enjoy, and review me, PLEASE!!! 

ATTENTION: This story contains spoilers from the Kyoto Arc.

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Disclaimers: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, and belongs to Shueisha, Sony, and others. The "Discworld" is the creation of Terry Pratchett, and belongs to him. I don't want to make money with this story which is just a tribute two the both. I don't even try to copy Terry Pratchett's style, because I'm no native speaker.

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The book of revenge – a Discworld Novel

Part One: A strange red-haired man

Somewhere on this world – a world carried by four elephants standing on the back of the giant turtle Great A'tuin – somewhere on this world, was a little cabin. A cabin filled with bookshelves. But the books weren't standing only on shelves, but also on tables and chairs. Only one table in the middle of the room was not covered with books. 

Different sorts of knives, piles of paper, roles of leather, a cup with glue, a brush and other things were laying on this table. A strange figure in a long, dark cloak stood near the table, humming a funny little melody. He was creating a new book.

__

At the height of a duel to the death, this technique sees and separates the hair's

breath between life and death. 

My lowly self retains the memory of what his master said:

" To overcome this, you discovered the border 

between life and death. The will to live is essential."

And more comforting words were given to this unworthy one,

last night, under the sky and the stars: 

" It's not just me and Megumi. Everyone wants you to come back safe."

So, in the end, there are no fears in this lowly one's heart—

WHAT IS THIS?

This was the big and dirty city of Ankh-Morpork, in a night, which just reached its end. The two people walking through a dirty street had just meet few minutes before, but even someone crossing them at random could see that they were attached to each other in a very complicated way. The name of the man was Carrot, and he was Captain of the Night Watch. He owed his name not only to the colour of his hair, which had just the colour of this vegetable, and was not visible in this moment because of his helmet. No, he owed his name more to the form of his body. With lager shoulders, and small waist, he was a veritable walking carrot measuring almost two meters. The young woman walking by his side, was not so tall like he. But, she had the so-called good proportions, and her blond hair tried always to put off her helmet. She was beautiful, but in very mysterious way. And her name was Angua, and she was a corporal of the night watch.

It was unusually quiet, but Angua smelled something strange, something that made her nervous. She had tried to explain this to Carrot, when they had meet her round. But he had only answered that she was always on alert whenever they went to this quarter called The Shadows. He was right about this. She sensed very clear the weird creatures living in The Shadows. Some of these weird creatures, she was supposed to represent in the night watch of Ankh-Morpork.

But this time she was not nervous about the people in The Shadows, because she felt this impression of strangeness in every part of the city. As she tried to explain it the second time, Carrot told her that her feelings were certainly a result ofthe influence of the next harvest moon. That had made her angry. Did he think, her moods were influenced by the moon? Where did he take his knowledge of – some strange book, may be.

"Things come when they come. It's no need to bother about something before it happens.", he concluded cheerfully. Angua snarled. He was sometimes too optimistic; he thought that the night watch would solve all problems in the right time.

Finally, they arrived at the headquarter of the night watch and, going upstairs, they heard voices.

"This is not a man," The voice of Sergeant Colon said. "No man would dress himself so indecently."

"This is a man. Look in his shirt," the voice of the Corporal Nobby Nobbs replied.

Colon made a disgusted sound. "You don't make me look at the naked chest of a woman. I'm a married man."

"Ugh," confirmed another deep voice, belonging to the librarian of the Unseen University.

"You hear it. He shares my opinion. This is a man." 

"You even don't understand what he says, Nobby."

"How long do I have to I wait for more intelligent people.", a fourth voice sighed. Glancing at each other, Angua and Carrot decided to enter the room. 

They found Nobby and Sergeant Colon, the orang-utan, which was the librarian of the invisible university, and a wizard, standing in a circle by a little bundle. 

"Look at this sword. Only a little //man// would carry such a big sword." Nobby said just before the four person realised the presence of the two newcomers. 

Then they let see Angua and Carrot what they watched. It was a little person with messy, long red hair. The colour was almost the same like Carrot's hair. The little thing also wore strange clothes. A pink whatever and white skirt-trousers, covered with dirt and blood. Strange was also its face. A face with a strange crossed scar on the left cheek

"First he needs bandages.", Carrot said who had obviously decided that the person must be a man. "Perhaps he needs a doctor too."

Angua still tried to understand her confusion. Yes, he was a man, and he was little like Nobby. //No//, quickly she pushed the comparison with Nobby away. Nobody would ever want to touch the little Corporal, but the stranger inspired her immediately to cuddle him like some sweet little animal - or to eat him like a sweet little animal in the time of the harvest moon. Even covered with blood, even with this scar on the cheek, even with his eye-blinding clothes, even with this strange bump on his forehead, he was cute. But he smelled odd. She was able to realise it even in her present form. There was the burning smell of blood, too strong for such a sweet thing like him, and there was the scent of some women's perfume, two different scents which she didn't know. The third thing was the strangest. It was – ink.

She realised that she was standing some time without motion, and had forgotten about the others. She looked around and saw Carrot, while he was speaking with the wizard and the librarian, bandaging the neck and the forehead of the stranger.

"So he fought the books in the library, and you knocked him down for harming the books."

"Ugh, ugh, ugh." The librarian contradicted.

"This sounds reasonable, after all, it is the library of the Invisible University, and many of these books are really dangerous." 

"But he woke up a second time, and he tried to fight the old wizards.", the wizard explained, who was only a wizard student, "They don't want to have him on the university campus." 

"Look, he has a sword.", Nobby said, holding the sword almost lovingly. Angua remembered that he was mad for big weapons. The bigger, the better. She also remembered a proverb saying: "Little men with big weapons want to compensate something". She didn't know, whether this saying was true.

Carrot took the sword. It was hidden in a dark, metallic sheath, and had a soft curve. When the young man unsheathed the sword, they saw, that the longer side was dull, and the shorter side was very sharp. The prove was given immediately when Nobby touched this side. With a painful "ouch", he stuck his bleeding finger in his mouth. Although odd, it seemed to be a good sword. Maybe, only the sword owned by Carrot was better. He put it again into his sheath. 

"Perhaps she is an assassin, hired to kill a certain book in the library." 

They all looked at Corporal Colon. _Was he blind, or was he just stubborn?_ Angua asked herself.

"This is a man." Nobby replied almost automatically.

"An assassin for books?", Carrot repeated, ignoring Nobby's interjection. "You think, that might be possible?"

"Don't ask me, this was just an idea. I don't know how crazy wizards could be."

Hastily, the Corporal excused himself. They looked at the young wizard who shrugged helplessly.

"What do you think, young Willibald?" Carrot asked ,who, of course, knew the name of the young wizard student.

"Some books in the library are really dangerous, and really vivid. I could imagine that there might be people wanting them dead."

"Ugh.", the librarian confirmed, but Angua realised that he looked doubtful.

This situation became stupid. 

"Perhaps, there could be people who would hire an assassin to kill a book, but he", she pointed out to the stranger, "he could never be an assassin. No assassin would dress himself like this. They might be ruthless and cruel, but they also have style and a better sense for aesthetic."

At this moment, the stranger woke up with a sneeze and opened his eyes. Angua could only state that they were violet, before he closed them again, and put out an annoyed sigh. With a frown he tapped his neck, and the bandages. 

"Why does this unworthy eyes have to see a monkey every time they are open, that they do?", he said it with a tight, but soft voice, and all eyes went immediately to the librarian who moved a little bit. Suddenly he seemed more dangerous. 

"You should not say monkey, or animal to him.", Carrot said politely to the stranger, "He is the librarian of the Unseen University."

The strange redhead frowned even more, and rubbed his forehead. Huge sweat-drops appeared on his cheeks. 

"A librarian? This m-?" 

He sighed lightly, and rubbed his head stronger without opening his eyes.

"So this unworthy one is reincarnated in a life where monkeys are librarians, and all people look like foreigners, and smell disgusting, that they do."

Even the librarian was startled one moment, and seemed to forget his anger. 

"Reincarnated?" All asked simultaneously.

"Yes, it must be like this, that must it. In the end, this unworthy one must have lost his fight, and died, that's it. There was a skeleton, wearing a black cloak and riding a white horse, looking at me and saying //WHAT A STRANGE THING.// He had rubbed his chin and was gone, that he was. Then my unworthy self had found himself in a little dusty room with bookshelves, that he had. Opening the door, this lowly one found another larger room with more bookshelves. And then, - this unworthy one doesn't remember, does he." 

Once again the voice was very tight, and the eyes stayed shut tightly when he spoke. He looked like a man, trying to guard his sanity, to convince himself, that all that was happening was real. Although his manner of speech was odd. 

"Ugh," the librarian said suddenly. "Ugh, ugh"

"A room with confiscated books?" Carrot asked suspiciously. 

Young Willibald looked embarrassed.

"Yes, the old wizards have a list with books, forbidden for the students because they describe indecent matters. And whenever someone finds one of them in our chambers, they are confiscated."

Angua almost laughed, as Corporal Nobbs pricked his ears, hearing of indecent matters.

"What kind of matters?", Carrot asked, and the wizard looked even more embarrassed.

"You know – all sorts of women."

"Like the Book of Positions."

Angua asked herself, when Carrot found this book, and, although not shy, she blushed. Sometimes he was very surprising. The faces of the wizard, and Corporal Colon grew red. How amazing, all men knew the name of this book!

"Maybe," the young wizard whispered, "maybe I could go now. I've done my duty, and accompanied the librarian to you." 

"Oh yes, but I will accompany you, to see the place where you found him," Carrot told him friendly, "Perhaps we can solve this mystery before Commander Vimes returns from his journey with his lady-wife. Sergeant Colon, you don't look good. Go home, and take a rest." 

The stout corporal looked suddenly far more better, and Carrot continued with his own friendly authority. 

"Angua and Nobby stay here to guard the stranger." 

They gazed at the stranger, and found him now sitting, and looking at them with huge eyes and more sweatdrops on his face. Even Angua had not perceived his movements_._

"Who are you – um - worthy ones?" 

"We are members of the night watch of Ankh-Morpork," Carrot declared proudly, but the stranger displayed no sign of respect. He only frowned again like he had a headache.

"We are protecting the people of the city from dangers." 

"You are the worthy police, that you are?" 

"You can say so."

In this moment, the eyes of the stranger started to swirl, and he felt back with a desperate moan. 

"Oro"

"Have you guys seen this?", Nobby exclaimed excited, "He can make swirl-eyes."

"Can I go home now?", the voice of Colon was heavy with tension, "I think, I'm really tired if I start to see a young lady with swirling eyes."

"Don't worry, Corporal Colon.", Carrot tried to comfort him, while they all looked at the stranger. After few minutes, the swirl ceased, and the red-haired man shut his eyes again, breathing heavily. "I think we can let him stay here for a while. Will you take care about him, and search a doctor, whenever his condition grow worst, Angua?" 

Angua nodded, and Carrot nodded back. Then he left the room with Colon, the librarian and the wizard. 

"It's such a shame that I cannot see this indecents books," Nobby murmured, while Angua looked at the little stranger again. 

__

Ink? 

End of Part One

Author's notes:

1. General: 

For several reasons I wanted to transport Kenshin's speech patterns. But I've adjusted them to the manner of thinking characteristic for the the Discworld:

this unworthy one (and variants) – the litterally translation of "sessha" – which is the word used by Kenshin to design himself. 

that's it/isn't it (and variants) – the try of a literally translation of degozaru yo/ ne. This form is a very polite and formal matter of speech used by Kenshin.

I borrowed from maigo-chan the citations from the manga, but sometimes I screwed them up to make the speech more odd. 

For this I'm really grateful to the Rurouni Kenshin Translation Room and their try to translate Rurouni Kenshin in Shakespearian speech. My limited knowledge of the English language don't permit me to adapt this fully to my story, but I try. 

2. For RK readers who don't know the Discworld:

I gave a short description of this world. More details will follow in the next chapters. But I want just to say, that every Discworld novel goes about a general theme, that can be every thing from Shakespearian theatre to topics of natural science.

The Discworld Novels had four different main story lines. The adventures of the night watch of Ankh-Morpork are one of them. If you like to read more about the night watch, I recommend you the book "Guards Guards" , "Men at Arms" or "Feet of Clay". My story is placed somewhere after "Men at Arms", in which Angua appeared the first time. 

ANKH-MORPORK is the biggest, and dirtiest city of the Discworld. And the worst part of this city is called The Shadows. More details about Ankh-Morpork or The Shadows will apear in the next chapters.

THE INVISIBLE UNIVERSITY is an academy of magic. More details will follow.

THE LIBRARIAN is one of the most important persons of the Discworld. He appears in almost every novel. In the first book, he got his simian body, but how and where will be explained in the next chapter. 

THE NIGHT WATCH: The night watch has very much members, but in this story, I will concentrate on the characters mentioned above. Only the Commander will appear in the last parts. 

I hope that you could form an idea about this characters after the first part. More details will follow.

I only want to explain something about Carrot, I cannot include in this story.

CARROT is the secret heir of the throne of Ankh-Morpork. He has a birth-mark, forming a crown. He can put his sword into a stone, and pull it out of a stone. And he has this thing called //chrisma//. You see, he's got all qualities of a king. 

3. Discworld readers who don't know Rurouni Kenshin:

You will know more about the strange little red-haired man in the next chapter. 

Thank you, my great corrector, for correcting my English! 

I'm responsible for all violations to the English language

__

//You're welcome! The humble corrector, leaving, I'm sure, several mistakes….//


End file.
